Where is My Mind?

Sometimes, I think my life will turn out like a Chuck Palahniuk book. An event, that will lead to another event, and several events after that until the pinacle end. A fiery explosion. I will end in flames, from dust I came, and to dust I will return (to loosely quote the Bible.)
I am an extension of every single character I've ever written about. To quote The Wombats, "I hope that no one ever leaves, 'cause I don't want to be alone with me." It's hard having all these characters inside you trying to come up for air. Slowly, I hope to kill each and every one of them off, and somewhere within the depths Christine will emerge (that is, unless they haven't gotten to her already.)
In life, I've only got so much to look forward to: Nurse Jackie. Jeopardy. . . and sadly, that's about it. You know, I think people in general have given up. We don't "look forward" to things anymore. Do we look forward to the next day? It's all just routine, we expect tomorrow to be there when we wake up in the morning. I wish there was something... something to make me go, "Hey! Tomorrow is going to be awesome..." But it never is. It's always just "tomorrow." Even the whole prospect of seeing Leonard Nimoy live at the Getty Center has lost it's appeal. Okay, maybe not wholly, it's made me more nervous than anything. You know what I liked? I liked sitting in my room watching "Into the Wild", living through Chris McCandless on his trek to Alaska- Except, my dreams did not die with him, they grew. He inspired me, and I fear, I lost some of that inspiration along the way.
I should start writing again, my characters need me. Hotdog guy and his life-size gum sculptures need my full attention, he's quite neurotic, you know. It's almost three, and here I am, watching Cash in the Attic. I haven't changed the channel for hours, not since Dr.Who had finished. At first, I completely hated the idea of David Tennant being replaced as The Doctor, but I'm getting quite fond of the new bloke they've got now. What ever happened to Torchwood? It never shows anymore. What is it me and television? It's sickly! I should get out of the house some.

THE MOST EXCITING NEWS EVER!

Okay, so let me start off by saying that I have stuck to this Vegan diet for a week now, and it isn't as hard as I thought it would be. Although, the cost of living a healthier lifestyle is much more difficult and pricier, it is certainly well worth it. I choose to go Veg for the health benefits, so I can "Live long, and Prosper!"-- Which brings me to THE MOST EXCITING NEWS EVER! Leonard Nimoy will be reading a short story at the Getty Center May 1st! Of course, I will be in attendance. I have been dreaming of catching Leonard live ever since I was a wee little girl, and now I've got the opportunity! A few months ago, he did an opening of a film shown at the Griffith Observatory, and although I was dying to go, the price (at $150 for admittance) did not assuage me. Now, I have the opportunity again to see him, at a fairer cost! Leonard, the great Ed Asner, Fionnula Flanagan and JoBeth Williams will be reading a few short stories at the Harold M. Williams Auditorium. So exciting! I've been a Spock fan ever since I caught my first glimpse of the Vulcan as a child, and later on, I got into the Original series as a teenager. I've even been voted, "Hottest Trekkie" on one of the Star Trek forums; what a laugh! I enjoy watching The Next Generation, Deep Space 9, and the other hundred and three variations of Star Trek, but nothing beats The Original Series! Wow, I sound like a real dork!
Anyways, It's Spring Break, and it's sad to say I will be cooped up indoors for the duration of my vaca. There isn't anything fun to do. Nothing really interests me anymore. How I wish I were still on my anti-depressants! Perhaps I should be my own doctor, and prescribe my self nature's seratonin and eat a whole mess of bananas! Eh, bananas don't interest me much. I've been habitually injesting caffeine to keep my mood elevated, but that makes me too jittery, and I give off the facade of being a crackhead, so to speak.
What I WILL be doing on my break is studying spanish, analyzing Hamlet, reading the Bible, and if I have time, sneak in, Steig Larson's, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. I also need to hone up on my Jeopardy skills. I lack knowledge in Biblicial questions, Economics and Government. Speaking of which, the show starts in 20 minutes! Hasta luego!

To Veeg or not to Veeg, That is the Question!

I have recently taken up Veganism. I have an incredibly addictive personality, where I pick something(a hobby, usually) I'm interested in, and devote all my time and energy into it. I hope this is a phase that will last for the duration of my lifetime. I hate having these "creative outbursts." Recently, I gave up the stint of wanting to be a fashion designer (after having purchased a sewing machine, accoutrements (sp?), & enough fabric that could cloath a small third world country), I even sewed together some seemingly acceptable dresses. I went to Whole Foods today to purchase Vegan friendly foods, and beside their ridiculously high prices, I will certainly be returning back there. I have to admit, it's REALLY hard, but I've made it three days! They say, if you keep something up for a month, then you will make it a habit that will stick, and I'm sure hoping that will be the case.
Reaching further in, it is suffice to say, my "addictive personality" has always been a mystery to me. I don't know why I jump from one obsession to the other? Die hard obsession. I'm not sure you can call it addictive, because it wears off whenever I get bored of (the hobby) and switch to something else; but listen to this! I always return to that (hobby) later on. It's like a vicious cycle of hobbies! For example: The sewing, the stenciling, the painting, the bow-making, the jewlwery making, the hempworking, The pianist, the director, the cartoonist, the gnome collector, and so on.) It's ridiculous. I think it's because my parents never nurtured my creativity when I was growing up. Too Freud? Yeah. When I was 8, I played the entire "My Heart Will Go On" song from Titanic on my little keyboard by ear. This didn't phase my mother, I was never signed up for Piano lessons. Instead, Gymnastics. I was an overweight 8 year old, I wasn't going to turn out to be the next Dominique Dawes, I couldn't even tumble! I don't blame my parents, they're not very westernized with their views. I'm lucky to have been born and raised here instead of Lebanon (which I am also a Citizen of!) I have a really close relationship with my mother, we do practically everything together. I do hate the fact she sings incorrectly to songs in the car, but it makes me laugh when she tries to ride it off as saying, "Oh, they're singing the song wrong." Or when I tell her to stop, and she starts humming. I'm not sure she's aware, or why she has this desire to sing-a-long to songs. When I listen to music, I want to get lost in my own thoughts- I don't know where my head is half the time. I don't drive much, but I can easily say, there hasn't been a time I've driven with the radio on. My mom's a gas! She's a funny woman, and sort of childish in her own right.
I think I'm about to turn in now, Journal. Perhaps I'll try and locate the episode of Nurse Jackie that aired tonight, since I don't have Showtime anymore! >:O Buenos Noches.