21.

I turned 21 yesterday. And unlike the drunken debauchery most young adults might have opted for, I chose to spend the night with a few good friends bowling. There was drinking, I'm not going to sugar coated, but nothing too off handed, Journal. My best friend who is going to college in Washington had come down, we drank a few glasses of wine before we met up with another friend of mine. After the bowling-which was shameful, might I add- we bought some Mike's Hard Lemonade, ate some Carl's and hung around. It was a pleasant evening. For a second, before I almost lit myself on fire from the embers of my cigarette, I felt infinite. Sitting in my friend's white Mustang listening to The Cure, as the last few hours of my birthday waned, was one of the best moments I've ever had.

Sadly, some "best friends" of mine, didn't even have the decency to wish me a Happy Birthday. Which is fairly disappointing, but I will remember this. I'm not one to hold grudges, but they should consider themselves written out of my proverbial "book." To some girls, if you don't have a Penis, it's as though you don't even exist. I hate sluts. I guess that's why I've never had an interest in romantic relationships, I don't want to be just like them. I know I would never, and that someday, it may find me- some girls are just SO WEAK. I hate it. And it angers me to an extreme unlike any other. >:O To each their own.

Through the Roof 'n' Underground

The eleventh hour is passing. Seriously, it's 11:42. I should be settling myself into bed, but I realized I haven't written in a while. I've been in a state of lethargy, lately. My days are like a watercolored painting, blending into each other. Speaking of painting, I've picked up painting this past two months. I want to start working with vinyl paints, because standard acrylics are pissing me off. I live for glossy sheen. That's why, when I have my own place somewhere in the future, everything is going to have a glossy sheen, and PopArt brightness. I want to live in a cartoon-world.
The end is coming near. No, really, school is almost over. Summer is around the corner, and so is my 21st birthday. I fear of becoming a bawdy alcoholic. Not. That's the least of my worries. I'm an Appletini kind of broad. I hope the summer isn't disappointing. I'm going to be seing one of my favorite bands, La Roux. Going to Vegas? Philosiphizing with a few good mates. Coffee shop doodling solo. I need to write something I can possible submit to Inscape. I am certainly taking the editing course if the hours permit, it looks like bushels of fun!
I love the life I think I'll have in the future. It usually never ends up that way. Things never go as plans, and that's life's way of giving you suspense and excitement. You're in a movie. No, movies are predictable. You're in a book! Yes, you're in a book.

OM EYE GOT.

My laptop has been returned to it's rightful place after spending a week in intensive care. Since then, I've been... You know. I got a Yoga/Meditation dvd, I think I'll actually try to keep up with it after I control my unbearable laughter. Are these people serious? Why, at $19.99 they better be. My chi is in the wrong place, my karma is out of funk and my houses are disaligned. Oh, my room is a mess, as well.
I have finished reading my fourth Chuck Palahniuk Book, Survivor. It kind of sucked, I'm not going to lie, but I really liked the philosophy of it. I think it only sucked because going into it, I knew it would. I liked Choke, Invisible Monsters and the ever so famous, Fight Club. I'm onto Snuff, Diary, Haunted and Rant next. Wish me luck.
You know, I should really be finishing this novel I started writing that Chuck Palahniuk inspired me to right. With the way my life is going, I'll never get around to it, and Hotdog Guy will be arrested in developement, along with Protagonist A. I haven't created a name for Protagonist A or Hotdog Guy yet. Something with a J, for Hotdog Guy. I like J's.
When I was a kid, I used to draw people without arms, and sometimes without legs. My teachers thought I had a serious problem. I wonder how I saw the world back then? Still life.
I have an addictive personality, I hate it. I'm too chatty. Chatty Christine. I should have my mouth wired shut. I'd even lose weight that way, I'm seriously considering it. Unless, that, too has become outdated.

.

I-Am-Lost. I feel like pulling all my hair out. I'm not even doing what I'm supposed to be doing. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!

I don't like it. I don't like it one bit.

Ensign.

I should have been prepared but I wasn't, this fault of mine, grew such a passion! You're probably thinking, "Christine, what are you talking about?" The one and only Anton Chekhov, of course! (Not to be confused with Ensign Pavel Chekhov from Star Trek: The Original Series.haha) Yeah, I mis-interpertered an assignment, and ended up terribly failing a Pop Quiz on Chekhov shorts! You'll be pleased to know, I have now read the required reading and then some! Actually, YOU, probably don't care. I know reading the stories won't do me much good now with the test ... but I do hold a glimmer of hope for an impending essay! Dun dun dunnnn.

I love analyzing things (and highlighting!) I have also noticed, this recent philosophical side of me emerged after College. I had been missing out on 18 years of enlightenment, can you believe that? Now that I'm settling into my twenties, I've been more atuned to what has been written between the lines; and let me tell you, it's SHOCKING! I feel like Candide at the end of... Candide! Haha. Actually! I think I can date my budding of analysis back to my 12th year, when I interpereted Beowulf as an Epic Gay Drama (which, I later found out, wasn't the only person to have thought so!) I pity those who think, "It is what it is" because they are blind to the possibilities of the world around them. The meanings, the symbolism. Here, I must sound like a loon, so I'll change the subject.

I like to write, so it's only feasible that I like to give things their own meanings (bizarre as they may be!) I haven't been writing my Fiction for ages, and I feel rather detached from that hobby these days. I think I've been more focused on being human. Driving, a great peril of mine. I'm not that BAD, but I'm no Dale Earnhardt JR. either. I'm directionless; Interpret that whichever way you please. Wait, I never changed the subject did I?

How about them Yankees?Cowboys?Lakers?Steelers? I've noticed I use that ice breaker quite often when awkward silence permits it. That's what I hate; awkward silences! I'm chatty, and I'm only chatty because silence is BO-RING in a room full of people. It's AWKWARD. I don't care what you'll think of me if I say we should clone Jesus from what we find on the Shroud of Turin, or how BIZARRE you might think me for my awe-striking statements. I like Drama. Not bad drama like "he said, she said." But, you know, excitement. I like to evoke conversations people would not normally partake in. Well behaved women never make it in History, is that right?

I'm going to finish reading, The Woman with the Little Dog, then it's bed for Ol' Hickory. No, they don't call me that, but they should.

Emay Osay Appyhay!

Let me start off by saying, I had the best weekend! I got to see Leonard Nimoy for Selected Shorts at the Getty Center (with a wonderful line-up of readers, mind you!) I had a blast. The day prior to the event, I attended an International Festival, which was pretty fun, too! Nothing beat seeing Leonard Nimoy, though! I'm such a trekkie (and sadly, the only Trekkie there that night, and the only one under 45!)
Today, was pretty darn good, too (beside me veering my car into oncoming traffic; I had mistakenly thought it was a turning lane. Merde!) I got an A on an In-Class essay! These small victories really make my day, considering not much else goes on in my life. The next considerably exciting thing for me is recieving my autographed picture of Michio Kaku from his Official Website! I've got a frame and everything ready for it. He's my favorite Theoretical Physicist! :-] You know, oftentimes I wonder why I'm so intrigued by Science when I am so terrible at it (when it comes to equations; I hate math!) I would KILL to see either Brian Cox (mmm!), or Michio Kaku, who happen to be my two top fave Physicists (but as far as I know, Cox hasn't done any presentation or appearances in Los Angeles, and Kaku does his lectures all the way in Berkley!)
I need to start reading again (for leisure.) I remember how I used to read two books a week, I'm lucky if I have time for one every month, if even that! I'm going to swear off the internet, it's been taking too much of my time. I've also had some stints with cyberstalking; that is why I had to take my full name off of my Facebook page! Some people are just ridiculous. I am disgusted by humanity whenever I come across these dispicable figures online. (Thankfully, I can write here, since nobody reads my blog, or really know of me on blogger! haha)

Where is My Mind?

Sometimes, I think my life will turn out like a Chuck Palahniuk book. An event, that will lead to another event, and several events after that until the pinacle end. A fiery explosion. I will end in flames, from dust I came, and to dust I will return (to loosely quote the Bible.)
I am an extension of every single character I've ever written about. To quote The Wombats, "I hope that no one ever leaves, 'cause I don't want to be alone with me." It's hard having all these characters inside you trying to come up for air. Slowly, I hope to kill each and every one of them off, and somewhere within the depths Christine will emerge (that is, unless they haven't gotten to her already.)
In life, I've only got so much to look forward to: Nurse Jackie. Jeopardy. . . and sadly, that's about it. You know, I think people in general have given up. We don't "look forward" to things anymore. Do we look forward to the next day? It's all just routine, we expect tomorrow to be there when we wake up in the morning. I wish there was something... something to make me go, "Hey! Tomorrow is going to be awesome..." But it never is. It's always just "tomorrow." Even the whole prospect of seeing Leonard Nimoy live at the Getty Center has lost it's appeal. Okay, maybe not wholly, it's made me more nervous than anything. You know what I liked? I liked sitting in my room watching "Into the Wild", living through Chris McCandless on his trek to Alaska- Except, my dreams did not die with him, they grew. He inspired me, and I fear, I lost some of that inspiration along the way.
I should start writing again, my characters need me. Hotdog guy and his life-size gum sculptures need my full attention, he's quite neurotic, you know. It's almost three, and here I am, watching Cash in the Attic. I haven't changed the channel for hours, not since Dr.Who had finished. At first, I completely hated the idea of David Tennant being replaced as The Doctor, but I'm getting quite fond of the new bloke they've got now. What ever happened to Torchwood? It never shows anymore. What is it me and television? It's sickly! I should get out of the house some.